I have not written my thoughts for a long time here on my blog. I am such a open book and share my thoughts and feelings so openly even with complete strangers. I think this is how you truly create authentic friendships, one where you both openly admit your trials and short comings. But to be honest I have been keeping a lot to myself and deep in a quiet place in my heart. I feel very guarded right now. The do not disturb sign is quietly and invisibly hanging around my neck.

My neck is still causing me a lot of pain especially when I am on the phone or computer. The pain is so bad that I find myself many days in bed. Being in pain is the straw that breaks this camels back. I try so hard to stay positive but right now to be completly honest I am not very happy. I am still very thankful for my blessings and know that this to shall pass, but I hate not my life but my lifes curcimstances right now.

Eric is going to school up at SUU for the summer. He is never home and is so beyond stressed that it is not very plesant when he is here. This makes life very hard. I am not unhappy with him but unhappy with our situation. He is working so hard and I am so thankful for him and his efforts and I am beyond proud of him! There is no way in this world that I could do what he is doing! I am in awe of his intelligence and determination. He really is my better half! I love him with all that I am! And I am so sad that he has to do so much right now. I wish I could bare his burdens for him. I am actually crying right now as I think of how much I appreciate him and all he is doing for us! He is my rock!
The kids are out for summer and the house is a complete crazy mess! I wish that it could be easier to keep up! I feel like all I do is get after the kids for fighting or ask them for help! No one sees the needs that need to be met but me, and that makes it so hard because all I do is nag and gripe about what I need! I hate having to scream and yell but they dont listen to me unless I get angry. We have had fun too we have gone swimming and played at the river. I am sad that I am ready for summer to be over already! I love my kids dearly but I need a break from them too! It is so HOT! They can't play outside and they are bored! Bored kids that can't go outside= CRAZY Mom! Well I will end this, Sorry kinda negative down here in my "NECK" of the woods! Keep smiling!