My Grandpa Secrist

(This is how he looked when I went to see him 2 weeks ago)

My Grandpa Secrist is not doing well, he will probably pass away tonight, or maybe tomorrow. He is my Moms dad, and is very special to me! I got the chance to go see him two weeks ago, and say my good bye, it was so hard. It is so hard to want two things at the same time, on one hand I am so happy for him that he will be released from the pain and suffering that he has endured for a long time, and then one part of me wants him to stay, but to be the man he use to be before he was ill. You see my grandpa has type 2 diabetes and has had a lot of complications from it. It started with loosing his toes from poor circulation, and then he got a sore on his foot that did not heal so they took his foot, then he lost his other foot, then 2 years ago he lost both legs above his thighs. It has been such a hard last 4-5 years for him, he has endured painful surgery's and has had to live in a care center where he is incapable of doing much for him self. It is so sad to see a man who was so strong and independent, become so weak and totally dependent.

I can't imagine living his life and enduring all the pain, and suffering that he has had to endure! Tonight my Mom called to tell me that he is close to death, so she and my Dad went up to be with him. Today is also my other Grandpas B-day my Dad's Dad, he passed away in June last year.

I am so sad to lose my Grandpa, he has always had a special place in my heart! I call him GP, and he calls me nurse! He has a nick name for all his kids, grand kids and even some of his great-grand kids! The way I got my nick name was that I loved to be the neighborhood nurse when I was around 7 or 8yrs old. I would help anyone who got hurt riding their bike, or skinned their knee. My Grandpa was visiting from Illinois, one day he answered the door and a neighbor boy asked him if nurse Kelsi was in! He thought it was so funny, and the name stuck! I have been called nurse Kelsi by my Grandpa ever since! He would tease me and say that he needed a operation, that he wanted me to take his gizzard out!

He always had a big smile for me when ever I would go to visit him in the care center, and I would say before I came in that the real nurse was here! It would make his day!

My Grandpa has such big hands, and a full head of hair. He is such a great man, he will be missed so much! It is so sad to loose a loved one. I told my Mom tonight it feels in way that he has been gone for a long time already because he has been leaving slowly for a while now. I am sad for my Mom, they are really close. My Grandpa adores my Mom. I remember telling him after I had four boys that if t the Lord only had boys for me, that I was OK with that. I remember him actually choking up and saying that he loved his 2 boys, but he could not imaging his life with out the sweetness of his 4 girls. My Grandpa leaves behind a wonderful legacy of love. He was a great Husband, Dad, and Grandpa! He will be missed so much! So Grandpa I just hope you know that I love you, I always will! I am thankful for the knowledge that we will be together again someday, and I know the man you were, and the life you lived! I know where you are going, and I am glad you will not be in that care center anymore! run free, live, and never ever forget that we love you and will miss you!

I love you forever GP,

Love, Nurse Kelsi