Funny Quotes!

OK I am on a humor kick! I guess I am bored silly! Eric has been out of town since Monday! Kind of a rough way to start out summer! I feel like I have been thrown in the deep end with sharks! I thought I need a good laugh, so I found some funny quotes! I posted them on the side of my blog too! Enjoy!

After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles.

"I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.

Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!

"Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle."

( this one is for Jodi!) "Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh man....I could be eating a slow learner."

"Do you know why they call it 'PMS'? Because 'Mad Cow Disease' was already taken."

"A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man tells her that her mouth is extremely beautiful when her lips are closed." ( I think Eric might actually start using this one!)

"A person who knows how to laugh at himself will never ceased to be amused."

"Swearing was invented as a compromise between running away and fighting."

"Hippies, hippies... they want to save the world but all they do is smoke pot and play frisbee!"

Families with babies and families without babies are sorry for each other.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one.

What you call dog with no legs?Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.